1) Forgive your enemies but remember the bastard's name
2) Money cannot buy happiness but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle
3) Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they are in trouble again
4) Many people are alive only bacause it's illegal to shoot them
5) Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again neither does milk.
Feel free to add your own at the comments ...