Saturday, September 23, 2017

How to Break the Fourth Wall

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Translation of what British people say

  • 'I might join you later' - Translation: I'm not leaving the house today unless it's on fire
  • 'Excuse me, sorry, is anyone sitting here?'  - Translation: You have three seconds to move your bag before I end you.
  • 'Not to worry' - Translation: I will never forget this
  • Saying sorry as a way of introducing yourself.
  • 'Bit wet out there' - Translation: You're going to need a snorkel because it's absolutely pissing down
  • Ending emails with 'Thanks' as a warning that you are perilously close to losing your temper
  • 'Right then, I suppose I really should start thinking about possibly making a move' - Translation 'Bye'
  • 'It's fine' - Translation It really could not possibly get any worse, but no doubt it will do
  • 'Perfect' - Translation: Well that's ruined
  • 'A bit of a pickle' - Translation: A catastrophically bad situation with potentially fatal consequesnces
  • 'Not too bad, actually' - Translation: I'm probably the happiest I've ever been
  • 'Honestly, it doesn't matter' - Translation: Nothing has ever mattered more than this
  • 'You've caught the sun' - Translation: You look like you've been swimming in a volcano
  • 'That's certainly one way of looking at it' - Translation: That's certainly the wrong way of looking at it.
  • Saying 'I have the 5p if it helps?' and never being quite sure it helps
  • 'If you say so' - Translation: I'm afraid that what you're saying is the height of idiocy'
  • 'With all due respect' - Translation: You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about
  • Saying 'you're welcome' as quietly as possible to people that don't say thank you but using it as a form of punishing them
  • Meanings of 'I beg your pardon; (1) I didn't hear (2) I apologise (3) What you're saying is making me absolutely livid
  • 'It could be worse' - Tanslation: It couldn't possibly be any worse
  • 'Each to their own' - Translation: You're wrong, but never mind
  • 'Pop round anytime' - translation: Please stay away from my house
  • 'I'm just popping out for lunch, does anyone want anything?' - Translation: I'm getting my own lunch now, please remain silent
  • Saying 'I might get some cash out actually', despite approaching the cash machine and being 100% certain of getting cash
  • 'No, no, honestly, my fault' - Translation: It was exceedingly your fault and we both know it
  • 'No yeah that's very interesting' - Translation: you are boring me to death 
  • 'Just whenever you get a minute' - Translation: NOW
  • 'No harm done' - Translation: You have caused complete and utter chaos
  • 'I'm sure it will be fine' - Translation: I fully expect the situation to deteriorate rapidly
  • 'Sorry, I think you might have dropped something' - Translation: You have definitely dropped that specific item

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Monday, September 18, 2017

Sep 18th 1879 - First Blackpool Illuminations Festival

Blackpool illuminations is an annual Lights Festival, founded in 1879 and first switched on 18 September that year, held each autumn in the English seaside resort of Blackpool on the Fylde Coast in Lancashire

The Blackpool illuminations run each year for sixty - six days, from late August until early November at a time when most other English Seaside resorts' seasons are coming to an end. Dubbed as 'the greatest free light show on earth', the illuminations are 6 miles (10 km) long and use over one million bulbs.

Every year there is also the Festival of Light which features interactive installations and is described as being 'a conteporary look at the concept of light and art working together to create entertaiment'

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