Translation of what British people say

• 'I might join you later' - Translation: I'm not leaving the house today unless it's on fire

• 'Excuse me, sorry, is anyone sitting here?'  - Translation: You have three seconds to move your bag before I end you.

• 'Not to worry' - Translation: I will never forget this

• Saying sorry as a way of introducing yourself.

• 'Bit wet out there' - Translation: You're going to need a snorkel because it's absolutely pissing down

• Ending emails with 'Thanks' as a warning that you are perilously close to losing your temper

• 'Right then, I suppose I really should start thinking about possibly making a move' - Translation 'Bye'

• 'It's fine' - Translation It really could not possibly get any worse, but no doubt it will do

• 'Perfect' - Translation: Well that's ruined

• 'A bit of a pickle' - Translation: A catastrophically bad situation with potentially fatal consequesnces

• 'Not too bad, actually' - Translation: I'm probably the happiest I've ever been

• 'Honestly, it doesn't matter' - Translation: Nothing has ever mattered more than this

• 'You've caught the sun' - Translation: You look like you've been swimming in a volcano

• 'That's certainly one way of looking at it' - Translation: That's certainly the wrong way of looking at it.

• Saying 'I have the 5p if it helps?' and never being quite sure it helps

• 'If you say so' - Translation: I'm afraid that what you're saying is the height of idiocy'

• 'With all due respect' - Translation: You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about

• Saying 'you're welcome' as quietly as possible to people that don't say thank you but using it as a form of punishing them

• Meanings of 'I beg your pardon; (1) I didn't hear (2) I apologise (3) What you're saying is making me absolutely livid

• 'It could be worse' - Tanslation: It couldn't possibly be any worse

• 'Each to their own' - Translation: You're wrong, but never mind

• 'Pop round anytime' - translation: Please stay away from my house

• 'I'm just popping out for lunch, does anyone want anything?' - Translation: I'm getting my own lunch now, please remain silent

• Saying 'I might get some cash out actually', despite approaching the cash machine and being 100% certain of getting cash

• 'No, no, honestly, my fault' - Translation: It was exceedingly your fault and we both know it

• 'No yeah that's very interesting' - Translation: you are boring me to death 

• 'Just whenever you get a minute' - Translation: NOW

• 'No harm done' - Translation: You have caused complete and utter chaos

• 'I'm sure it will be fine' - Translation: I fully expect the situation to deteriorate rapidly

• 'Sorry, I think you might have dropped something' - Translation: You have definitely dropped that specific item

Follow @SoVeryBritish on twitter for more