Excerpts from ‘Carpe Jugulum’ by Terry Pratchett

(01)
It was indeed beautiful, but Agnes felt that beauty was even more likely to be in the eye of the beholder if the feet of the beholder were on something solid. At ten thousand feet up, the eye of the beholder tends to water.

(02)
In fact Lancre's position and climate bred a hard - headed and straightforward people who often excelledin the world down below. It had supplied the plains with many of their greatest wizards and witches and, once again, the philosopher might have marvelled that such a four - square people could give the world so many successful magical practitioners, being unaware that only those with their feet on rock can build castles in the air.

(03)
She was not, herself, hugely in favor of motherhood in general. Obviously it was necessary, but it wasn't exactly difficult. Even cats managed it. But women acted as if they'd been given a medal that entitled them to boss people around. It was as if, just because they'd got the label which said "mother", everyone else got a tiny part of the label that said "child"...

(04)
The smug mask of virtue triumphant could be almost as horrible as the face of wickedness revealed.

(05)
All witches who'd lived in her cottage were bookish types. They thought you could see life through books but you couldn't, the reason being that the words got in the way

(06)
My granny used to say if you’re too sharp you’ll cut yourself

(07)
Once you gave a thing a name you gave it a life

(08)
There was practically nothing that he wouldn’t attack, including architecture.

(09)
The reward for toil had been more toil. If you dug the best ditches, they gave you a bigger shovel.

(10)
The result would have been called primitive even by people who were too primitive to have a word yet for ‘primitive’

(11)
Granny Weatherwax had a primal snore. It had never been tamed. No one had ever had to sleep next to it, to curb its wilder excesses by means of a kick, a prod in the small of the back, or a pillow used as a bludgeon. It had had years in a lonely bedroom to perfect the knark, the graaah, and the gnoc, gnoc, gnoc unimpeded by the nudges, jabs, and occasional attempts at murder that usually moderate the snore impulse over time